It seems that as we approach the end of our lives we have regrets.

I’ve read many books that talked to people who are nearing the end of their lives either because of terminal illness or age.  A common theme is having regrets.

Regrets come in all shapes and sizes –

• wishing you had said no when you said yes
• wishing you had said yes when you said no
• wishing you had resolved that problem with a particular person
• wishing you had told that person how you felt about him/her
• wishing you had jumped, taken the risk, when instead you hesitated

The list could go on.  For the most part regrets are about wishing you had taken an action  – whether it is to do or say something – an action different than the one you took.

I try and live my life without regret.  I ask myself with some regularity “If I were to die tomorrow, how do I feel about the choices I’ve made to this moment?”  And then I notice how I feel as I ponder my answer.  I have to say that right now I’m noticing some not so good feelings – those feelings are telling me I have to take some different actions.

I did take some action today.  I wrote am email I’ve been putting off doing for several days – am email that might well lead to the end of an intimate relationship.  Yet now if tomorrow never comes, I shared some things I needed to share.  And it wasn’t about yelling, being angry, or about wishing for something different.  It was about taking responsibility for my own feelings and asking to hear about theirs.

And there is some other action I need to take.  Another friend is, I believe, hanging at the moment because I haven’t responded.  I’ve been avoiding – it feels easier in this moment.  Yet the idea of tomorrow not coming leaves me with a bad flavour in my mouth if I am to leave things with this friend the way they currently stand. It is not a big deal, but it is about speaking my truth and sometimes that can feel vulnerable and scary.  So I’m inviting myself to step into that scary, to be vulnerable, to speak my truth, and know that shifts my feeling of regret.

A person recently asked me “Can you really get to the end and not have regrets?” I don’t know. I’m certainly willing to put the energy into my life, to live it on purpose, to be vulnerable, to speak my truth, and find out.  How about you?