Tag Archives: Esalen

Wherever I Go There I Am

Sunshine.  Dolphins frolicking in the bay.  Hummingbirds buzzing by.  Monarch butterflies taking a rest on their journey.  Purposeful community.  Connection.  Healthy food in abundance.  Thermal baths.  Hidden nooks and crannies.  A warm comfortable bed at night.

Sounds pretty amazing doesn’t it?  Magical I’d say.

And yet…

…in that same beautiful place I am triggered.  I have moments of fear as I speak my truth.  I feel the shields coming up as I receive positive feedback or when I let someone no.  If I let the connection and love in, when I fully show up, will I lose what I am so seeking?  Do I keep myself alone in order to avoid finding myself alone?

I’m hanging at Esalen for five weeks doing a work study program exploring Non-Violent Communication (NVC) within the larger context of purposeful community.  Learning something one day, applying it in community the next.  It is a magical place.  It is a full life place.  It reminds me that wherever I go, there I am.  Whatever personal development work I need to do comes with me, even to paradise.

Here’s the thing – I’m delighting in that.  In NVC we talk about Universal Needs.  Those needs are foundational to my existence as a human being.  It doesn’t matter where I am, I have needs for connection, for belonging, for expansion, to be seen and heard, for meaning, for safety, for consideration.  If I can explore those needs here, I have the opportunity to explore them anywhere because here’s the thing, once I engage in my life, I can do that anywhere.  Wherever I go, there I am.  I can engage in my life here, there and everywhere.

Wherever you go, there you are.*  What parts of you are calling for some attention no matter what circumstances you are in?  Know that whatever work you do to connect with and heal/integrate those parts of yourself gets to come with you wherever you go. When you do self-work, you are forever the beneficiary of your efforts.

 

*My gratitude to Jon Kabat-Zinn’s body of work for introducing me to this concept.

 

 

 

Getting What You Want

I recently arrived to Esalen – a retreat centre in Big Sur.  I’ll be here for 5 weeks on a work-study program.   It is a great opportunity to experience being in community and learn by doing.  The setting is beautiful coastal California.

In the application process I was asked to indicate my preference for the work I would do during my stay.  There were options like kitchen, housekeeping, garden, etc.  I like to cook and thought it could be interesting to learn how to cook for larger numbers of people.  I’d get new recipes as well.  All good.  So I had indicated a preference for the kitchen.

I arrived to find out I had been placed with “Cabins”.  I was bummed.  I felt unacknowledged.  I had indicated a preference hadn’t I?  Why had it been disregarded?  And “cabins”?  What the hell was that?  I could see myself vacuuming rooms and cleaning toilettes for the next 5 weeks.  No thanks!

I could feel the negative vibes creeping in.  Time for a check-in.  First I had to remind myself that they had never committed to honoring my preference.  It was just that – a preference – which implies that other things are possible too.  In addition, as a community, we are all contributing to the well-being of each other in anything we do – in any way, time place, we show up.  There is no unimportant work here (or anywhere else for that matter).

Then I learned about Cabins.  This means things like cleaning the guest rooms, tidying up meeting rooms, laundry, etc.  It means you travel back and forth across the property. I heard movement in that.  It also involves cleaning the thermal pools here on the grounds.  Outside, gorgeous, incredible view pools.  So the work also involves both inside and outside work.  I was hearing variety and I was loving the idea of being able to do some of my work outside while being surrounded by beauty. Added bonus – I’ve learned how to effectively fold fitted sheets!

So now ironically I’m doing what I didn’t want to do – yes I’m vacuuming and cleaning toilettes – and I’m loving it.  I feel blessed – as if I’ve been gifted the best department to work in.

Did I get what I want?  On the surface no.  I didn’t get “Kitchens”.  Digging a little deeper, I came to this place with an intention for movement.  For finding more ways to be in nature with my work.  For getting out of my comfort zone.  I believe I am receiving that in spades in my Cabins assignment.  Thank you universe!  A reminder for me to trust that sometimes we don’t get exactly what we want or at least sometimes it comes in a package we can’t even imagine.

So I invite you to launch your desires to the universe and add “…this or something better”.  Who knows what might show-up.  It might be more than you could possibly imagine.